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Jordan Shusterman: 25 Greatest Barry Bonds Facts


This post is part of the 2014 Blogathon to support Doctors Without Borders. Please donate what you can, even a dollar, to help them continue their mission of providing independent, impartial aid across the globe. 



Hey internet friends. I’m Jordan Shusterman, one half of the ridiculous blog, Cespedes Family Barbecue. If you haven’t figured out that CFBBQ consists of two people yet, that’s fine; we appreciate those that choose to bathe in the mass confusion surrounding one Twitter account shared by two different people. Anyway, I’m the one who tweets 98% of the Barry Bonds stats and stories that a wonderful number of you have quickly come to appreciate, and an equally wonderful number of you have just as quickly come to despise. 

I, along with my co-founder Jake (who wrote about The Wire for this year’s blogathon), were born in the year 1995. We are college freshmen. Unfortunately, our memories of Barry Bonds doing unspeakable things on baseball fields across North America are limited to fleeting images of his milestone home runs and painful hours of watching the media tear him to shreds shortly after he was essentially forced out of Major League Baseball. Fortunate enough for me, we live in an era where an unprecedented number of baseball statistics are counted, sorted, ranked, and discussed across a multitude of internet mediums. 

The career of Barry Bonds is one that has obviously already been drooled over on a number of occasions. A little over a year ago, Jonathan Bernhardt of Sports On Earth wrote about why Barry Bonds is the greatest baseball player of all time. Last year, for this same blogathon, Grant Brisbee wrote a passionate, poetic piece about Barry Bonds. Back in 2012, Jeff Sullivan wrote an abbreviated piece about some of his favorite Barry Bonds statistical absurdities.

In my attempt to add to the hopefully ever-growing collection of Barry Bonds magic here on the internet, I present to you my top 25 favorite Barry Bonds facts.

(subject to change)

25. For his career, Barry Bonds was 0-3 with 3 K’s against Rick Ankiel

…and it was all in one game. June 20th, 2000. In his first plate appearance against the then 20 YEAR OLD Ankiel, Bonds worked Ankiel to a full count before striking out swinging. In his second plate appearance, Ankiel struck him out swinging on three pitches. In his third and final plate appearance against, again, RICK ANKIEL, Barry Bonds struck out looking on three pitches. They would never face each other again. Rick Ankiel is one of two pitchers to have faced Barry Bonds four times or less and strike him out three times. The other one is Bartolo Colon. Bonds also only faced Bartolo for one game; June 12th, 2003 against the White Sox. First AB: strikeout swinging. Second AB: strikeout swinging. Third AB: strikeout swinging. Fourth AB: home run to take the lead in the top of the ninth inning.

24. Craig Biggio drove in 1,175 runs in his 20 year career. Barry Bonds’ home runs alone drove in 1,174 runs

It’s almost like Barry Bonds hit a lot of home runs or something.

23. 2001-2004 fWAR (FanGraphs’ version of WAR):

  • Barry Bonds: 46.6 fWAR
  • New York Mets: 46.6 fWAR
  • Milwaukee Brewers: 45.3 fWAR
  • Kansas City Royals: 31.0 fWAR
  • Detroit Tigers: 30.9 fWAR
  • Montreal Expos: 30.7 fWAR

2001-2004 was a fun time for Mr. Bonds, and this list makes that very clear. The level to which he was dominating baseball will probably never be seen again. Barry Bonds drew 120 intentional walks in 2004 alone. Meanwhile, I was being forced to memorize the Declaration of Independence in 4th grade. Speaking of intentional walks…

22. Barry Bonds has the most intentional walks in baseball history by a hilariously wide margin.  

Here’s the leaderboard:

1. Barry Bonds - 688 IBB’s

2. Hank Aaron - 293 IBB”s

3. Albert Pujols - 275 IBB’s

54. Ryan Howard – 143 IBB’s

133. Jason Giambi – 95 IBB’s

243. Alfonso Soriano – 67 IBB’s

326. Lyle Overbay – 55 IBB’s

435. Jeff Francoeur – 46 IBB’s

554. Troy Tulowitzki – 37 IBB’s

626. Luke Scott – 33 IBB’s

744. Clint Barmes – 28 IBB’s

It’s unfortunate the intentional walks weren’t tracked until 1955 because I’m extremely curious how guys like Babe Ruth and Ted Williams would compare to Bonds’ obscene career total. But this is what we have, and what we have is the most feared hitter in the history of the planet. 

21. 26.3% of Barry Bonds’ 12,606 career plate appearances ended with a home run or a walk

I like this one because it’s completely ridiculous. From 2001-2004, that number was 39.5%.

20. In 62 career plate appearances against Randy Johnson, Barry Bonds hit .306/.452/.551

Over the course of Randy Johnson’s career, RIGHT-HANDED hitters hit .224/.300/.362 against him. Lefties? .199/.278/.294. Bonds didn’t care for much for platoon splits, even if he was facing one of the greatest southpaws in the history of baseball. In fact, he hit .289/.417/.569 against lefties over the course of his 22 year career. 

19. From 1993-2007, Barry Bonds had more intentional walks than the Twins, Rangers, White Sox, Orioles, A’s, Blue Jays, Royals, and Tigers


18. 49.1% of Barry Bonds’ 2,935 career hits were extra base hits

Barry Bonds ranks second behind Hank Aaron for most career extra base hits. To showcase how truly ridiculous this % is, here’s how it compares against the rest of the top seven on the all-time extra base hits list:

Hank Aaron: 39.2%

Stan Musial: 37.9%

Babe Ruth: 47.2%

Willie Mays: 40.3%

Alex Rodriguez: 40.9%

Ken Griffey Jr.: 42.9%

17. From 2003-2007 (ages 38-42), Barry Bonds stole 21 bases and was caught one time

Read More

Allegedly 30-50% of the MLB in the PED era were on PEDs. None of them accomplished what Bonds did.


most emotional moment in television history

Who said you could post this? Rude.

(Source: unalike)



seduce me with film references

As you wish

(Source: nipplethief)

So in under a 12 month span, two of my cousins (different sides of the family) who are both 27, both knocked up their girlfriends after dating for like a month. 

Do they just not understand birth control or something? I don’t get it.

Apr 9

Date a girl who reads but not someone who has strong opinions she must be educated but you must be smarter than she is, sleep with whomever you want but bring only the virgin home to mom, make sure she’s funny wild wacky but not too energetic not too loud, give her a dark side but only one that’s easily cured she’s got to love video games but you have to be better at them make sure she’s a writer make sure at least once you break a poet’s heart, it makes you immortal when she spills your history onto pages filled with her pain - be sure to call her insane to your friends, shake your head, wonder aloud what the fuck is wrong with her for loving someone, for loving you, drag her name through the mud just because she was stupid enough to believe everything you told her - make sure she has good fashion sense and tasteful makeup but isn’t obsessed with it just so you can show her off to your friends but at the same time be sure she’s still attractive in sweats measure her waist with your fingers to ensure she is skinny but only naturally so, don’t you know bones are for dogs but too many curves and she’s not good at all, feel free to make fun of her salads and yogurts and granola, disregard the idea that she’s doing this all for you and she wants to sit around and eat cake instead of impress you, make sure she has some kind of cause but never one that shouts too loud, a girl who likes art a girl who likes math a girl who likes anything just as long as it isn’t too much that’s just annoying, a girl who likes to cook and will take “get back in the kitchen” as a joke, who likes to clean but doesn’t mind your mess, who is calm but passionate but exercises good judgement but is willing to take a risk who wants kids but only when you suggest them who is practical but believes in magic who is gentle but fucks hard who is pious unless you are in private who bends her knees for god but also to suck your dick who responds to your every touch like she is made thoughtless by it but still has some kind of mysteriousness who is obedient but independent loving but hard to get caring but not clingy talented but willing to give up her passions for you - but no, don’t worry about who you are or how you act. She’ll change to please you. You don’t have to be a good husband, she will believe she has to be perfect no matter what happens. The only flaws she is allowed are tiny ones. Girls need to be capable, honest, needing. Who cares if a girl like this doesn’t exist. We’ll convince them all to read our requirements and make themselves fit.

- Society’s recipe for the impossible girl my brother should marry (part 2/2 of a series) /// r.i.d  (via communistmanipesto)

Apr 7


The phrase “words to live by” gets thrown around often these days, but these are absolutely words to live by.

(Source: c-mines)

Apr 4
I’m personally offended that my hometown is apparently represented by oatmeal raisin. #chocolatechiporbust #santacruz #cookies

I’m personally offended that my hometown is apparently represented by oatmeal raisin. #chocolatechiporbust #santacruz #cookies


It is a good morning


It is a good morning


I relate to cher from clueless in the sense that I never know what to wear and I too want to get with 90s paul rudd

The struggle of not correcting someone’s spelling after they call you a “smart alec.”